Volume 1 Issue 1: The Woman with the Short Black Hair

Birdie was just getting home from her job at Uncommon Grounds, the local coffee shop, when she came to the full realization that she was a lesbian. All she had to do was leave work and bam! It hit her. She loved women. She really loved women. This excited her. She felt like she was coming into a whole new space. She didn’t feel like her life was about to change drastically. Birdie wasn’t a very dramatic person. Her life would just expand bit by bit as she discovered more about herself. That’s how Birdie approached life in general. She took one day at a time and adapted to each day accordingly. Today was just another day and she had finally started adapting to a part of herself that had, until then, gone unrecognized.

She had taken off her apron and stepped out the door and had seen a woman across the street. The woman was tall and thin and her hair was black and styled in a short boyish cut. She had an air of confidence that Birdie felt was unmatched by anyone else she knew. She walked like the world was nobody’s business but hers. Unfortunately, she was walking away from Birdie. Not a bad view, though.

Birdie had just read the book Zami: A New Spelling of My Name about women who loved each other. For a moment she pictured herself and the woman doing the same. How did you flirt with a woman? How did you know if a woman was flirting with you? It was these questions that troubled her, not the ones you would assume might come to mind like: how will my family react? Will I be able to come out at work? Do I know for sure I’m a lesbian or could I be bisexual or maybe even asexual? None of these expected questions had crossed her mind, only the practical ones.

The first time Birdie had developed feelings for a woman was in first grade. Her English teacher, Mrs. Nelson with the poofy blonde hair, was the best thing about elementary school as far as Birdie was concerned. She still blushed when thinking about her. As she walked the two blocks to her apartment she was met with flashbacks about other women she had loved throughout her life. There was Francine the French exchange student, Nora the pianist, Allie the gymnast, and the list went on.

When Birdie arrived at her apartment she was happy to find she was the only one there. Her roommates hadn’t come home yet. She fell on her bed, stared at the ceiling and thought about the woman she passed on her way home. An idea came to mind: did her very heterosexual cousin and roommate have any porn? Birdie had never seen porn and was curious. No one was home so…

She snuck into his room and booted up his computer. His desk had a Victoria’s Secret catalog hidden under one of his textbooks. Birdie loved Victoria’s Secret even though she was too flat-chested to fill out any of their bras. She giggled to herself thinking about how lucky she was to have the roommates she did. Ian, her cousin and Birdie were close and had been their whole lives. They were both twenty three years old and skinny with firebolt-red hair. Ian wanted to be a poet but his poetry sucked. Selma, the third roommate was a much better poet but she was in school for psychology. She wanted to be a sex therapist and always had interesting stories to tell.

The computer was up and ready. She had just pulled open a file when she heard the door open. Selma was home.

“Birdie, is it wrong it to have sex with a teacher for an ‘A’ on an exam?” Selma yelled from the door as she hung up her purse and took off her shoes.

Birdie quickly turned off the computer monitor and walked down the hall to the living room. Selma had gotten her hair cut today. Her long, black hair was now cut a short, boyish style. Shit.

Selma was the woman she had seen walking down the street.

Fuck.